I would vote for a politician that knew how to use the subject line.

I asked…

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…and you responded. Any what horrific assaults on the meaning of meaning they were. Cited claims? Not a chance. Specific pledges? Not that might make a difference. Discussion of policy? Don’t make me laugh!

I’m going to complain about one thing today and that’s bad email manners. By which I mean subject lines like:

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Why have a got a problem with this? It’s because it’s so obviously click-bait of the lowest form. If I get an email from an address that seems familiar with the subject line “Thank you” I’m going to assume I did something nice for someone and I click on it half expecting a nice warm glow instead of the deep disappointment that I’ve been tricked into opening a campaign email of NO validity.

“Telling you first”

Really? You are “telling me first”? I suspect not, I suspect that you are telling millions of people on your email list first, many of whom open your email expecting to be told something useful and urgent only to find that it’s standard political boilerplate.

I would have expected someone at Party HQ to have said “Hey, is it *really* a good idea to put a trivially obvious and direct lie as our subject line? I mention it only because teaching the voters to make a connection between trivially obvious and direct lies might be, you know, suboptimal…” but clearly such people were ignored.

“This just happened”

Surely this is a candidate for the least helpful piece of information ever put out? Now I find I’m associating your party with people who failed ‘basic email training’, when really I want politicians that can cut to the heart of issues like open data, Snowden, digital privacy and the right to be forgotten.

“Will you help”

Thank you Conservatives. Again – if a name that seems vaguely familiar sends me a “Will you help” message I naturally assume that someone I know is in trouble and needs me. So I open it.  When I open it I find that the email should have been titled “We’d like you to vote in three weeks”.

It’s click-bait, it’s utter appalling click-bait and I want so much more from politicians. AND IT’S NOT HARD. When you try and trick me into opening an email I would have opened anyway you treat me like a child.

It’s easy. We, the electorate, would love to be given information.  I personally would like to know what laws you are planning to pass post election. I’d like to know what you think the pros and cons are of various actions. Tell me what the Conservative Party itself is doing about Open Access. Tell me what steps the Labour party is taking for inclusion.

But if the first thing I read in a party email is designed to deceive me in such a transparent way, then I’m going to assume your only intention is to deceive. Treat me like a grown up and, I’m considerably more likely to vote for you.

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